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Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: An Introvert's Year of Living Dangerously

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What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Jessica Pan is going to find out. When she found herself jobless and friendless, sitting in the familiar Jess-shaped crease on her sofa, she couldn't help but wonder what life mi What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Jessica Pan is going to find out. When she found herself jobless and friendless, sitting in the familiar Jess-shaped crease on her sofa, she couldn't help but wonder what life might have looked like if she had been a little more open to new experiences and new people, a little less attached to going home instead of going to the pub. So, she made a vow: to push herself to live the life of an extrovert for a year. She wrote a list: improv, a solo holiday and... talking to strangers on the tube. She regretted it instantly. Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come follows Jess's hilarious and painful year of misadventures in extroverting, reporting back from the frontlines for all the introverts out there. But is life actually better or easier for the extroverts? Or is it the nightmare Jess always thought it would be?


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What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Jessica Pan is going to find out. When she found herself jobless and friendless, sitting in the familiar Jess-shaped crease on her sofa, she couldn't help but wonder what life mi What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Jessica Pan is going to find out. When she found herself jobless and friendless, sitting in the familiar Jess-shaped crease on her sofa, she couldn't help but wonder what life might have looked like if she had been a little more open to new experiences and new people, a little less attached to going home instead of going to the pub. So, she made a vow: to push herself to live the life of an extrovert for a year. She wrote a list: improv, a solo holiday and... talking to strangers on the tube. She regretted it instantly. Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come follows Jess's hilarious and painful year of misadventures in extroverting, reporting back from the frontlines for all the introverts out there. But is life actually better or easier for the extroverts? Or is it the nightmare Jess always thought it would be?

30 review for Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: An Introvert's Year of Living Dangerously

  1. 5 out of 5

    Toni

    I'm not a shintrovert (shy introvert - a term I was not familiar with before reading this book). I enjoy working with people and speaking to them. Yet, I do need my private time and space and reading to recharge my batteries. I have always been happy with this and a company of my fantastic friends who do not see being an introvert or extrovert as better or worse than the other. Reading 'Sorry, I'm late ' was like talking to a friend, a witty, ironic, courageous, sometimes self-absorbed, but ulti I'm not a shintrovert (shy introvert - a term I was not familiar with before reading this book). I enjoy working with people and speaking to them. Yet, I do need my private time and space and reading to recharge my batteries. I have always been happy with this and a company of my fantastic friends who do not see being an introvert or extrovert as better or worse than the other. Reading 'Sorry, I'm late ' was like talking to a friend, a witty, ironic, courageous, sometimes self-absorbed, but ultimately understanding friend who just happened to ask herself 'What opportunities am I missing out on and how far am I prepared to go to find this out?'. No, I would never put myself through what she did in search for the answers, but the book that was born out of this experience is both entertaining and thought-provoking. Thank you to Edelweiss and the publisher for the ARC provided in exchange for an honest opinion.

  2. 4 out of 5

    carol.

    This sounds ghastly.

  3. 4 out of 5

    MissBecka

    A lot of the stuff she forced herself to try was waaaaaay out of my comfort zone. Mad props to her for giving it a go and I was happy to live vicariously through her. The author is funny and has a way of making you feel a part of the story. I'm not sure if that's because I related so much to her story or if she is just that awesome. One will never know. Thanks to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for my DRC.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Brandice

    Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come: One Introvert’s Year of Saying Yes is Jessica Pan’s story of committing to a year of engaging in activities far beyond her comfort zone as a shintrovert (shy introvert). She forces herself to talk with strangers and attempt to move beyond surface level conversations, uses apps in an effort to meet new friends, takes an improv class, performs stand-up comedy, takes a solo trip, and hosts a dinner party. I admire Jessica’s bravery, particularly in her repeate Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come: One Introvert’s Year of Saying Yes is Jessica Pan’s story of committing to a year of engaging in activities far beyond her comfort zone as a shintrovert (shy introvert). She forces herself to talk with strangers and attempt to move beyond surface level conversations, uses apps in an effort to meet new friends, takes an improv class, performs stand-up comedy, takes a solo trip, and hosts a dinner party. I admire Jessica’s bravery, particularly in her repeated participation in stand-up comedy, something I have no interest in doing. While I’m definitely more introvert than extrovert, I fall closer to the middle of the road and would not call myself a shintrovert — I enjoy socializing and going out with friends and family, I attend sporting events often and enjoy solo travel, but rarely initiate conversations with strangers, and definitely welcome and enjoy a low key weekend at home. ”Sharing our vulnerabilities and insecurities is the quickest way to make a real connection with someone ... It’s not that we want others to fail, but we need to know that our own sorrows have echoes in other people’s lives. That’s what connects us. Strength may be impressive, but it’s vulnerability that builds friendships.” Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come is both funny and relatable. One of the biggest themes from the book is that regardless of where you land on the extrovert-introvert scale, you can apply behaviors from the other side, at least occasionally, to your benefit. We can stay true to who we are while recharging through alone time, and yet by talking to someone new, learn something we wouldn’t have otherwise known.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Katherine Elizabeth

    My first read of 2020, and it was rather average. I enjoyed how personal Jessica Pan got during her year of "extraverted-ness," but there was something missing for me in terms of execution and enjoyment while reading. I'm going to chalk it up to an "it's me, not you" situation!

  6. 4 out of 5

    Jenny (Reading Envy)

    I don't know if I'm an introvert. I know I'm perceived as an extrovert, so much so that when I moved into my current job, one of the librarians who would have to report to me sent me an article about how to care for introverts (ha!) But I have my own hill to climb to actually go out or show up. And I usually enjoy myself if I can hole up with a small group or one person (Gallup calls this the relator strength and doesn't bother with the E/I dichotomy.) I enjoyed this book where Jessica Pan spent I don't know if I'm an introvert. I know I'm perceived as an extrovert, so much so that when I moved into my current job, one of the librarians who would have to report to me sent me an article about how to care for introverts (ha!) But I have my own hill to climb to actually go out or show up. And I usually enjoy myself if I can hole up with a small group or one person (Gallup calls this the relator strength and doesn't bother with the E/I dichotomy.) I enjoyed this book where Jessica Pan spent a year doing things outside of her comfort zone, sometimes taking classes or consulting experts along the way. (Some of these experts had really useful advice! Have an exit strategy. Commit to an hour. Bring a friend. Etc.) One of my favorite chapters was when she told a story at a live event for The Moth. I also loved her comedy routines and how she talked herself into doing it three times. I felt she saw performance as extroverted, and I actually think these situations can be a safe way for introverts to get out there, because being on stage or having a persona does create distance between you and the masses. I'll give her a pass since she interacted quite a bit with fellow performers, even making some friends and connections. Possibly the even greater extrovert experiences came from the excruciating daily challenges like initiating small talk on London's public transportation when that isn't a norm for anyone, trying to get male strangers to have deep conversations upon meeting them (if I tried this, guarantee that it would be interpreted as flirting, because nobody just goes deep for the sake of deep conversation,) and the daily grind of leaving the house. And I loved her dinner party. What's worse for an introvert than letting others inside your safe space? . I had an ARC of the book from the publisher through Edelweiss and it comes out May 28, 2019.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Rebecca

    Like Jessica Pan, I’m a shy introvert (a “shintrovert”) as well as an American in the UK, so I was intrigued to see the strategies she employed and the experiences she sought out during a year of behaving like an extrovert. She forced herself to talk to strangers on the tube, gave a talk at London’s Union Chapel as part of the Moth, used friendship apps to make new girlfriends, did stand-up comedy and improv, attended networking events, went on holiday to an unknown destination, took magic mushr Like Jessica Pan, I’m a shy introvert (a “shintrovert”) as well as an American in the UK, so I was intrigued to see the strategies she employed and the experiences she sought out during a year of behaving like an extrovert. She forced herself to talk to strangers on the tube, gave a talk at London’s Union Chapel as part of the Moth, used friendship apps to make new girlfriends, did stand-up comedy and improv, attended networking events, went on holiday to an unknown destination, took magic mushrooms, and hosted a big Thanksgiving shindig. Like Help Me!, which is a fairly similar year challenge book, it’s funny, conversational and compulsive reading that was perfect for me to be picking up and reading in chunks while I was traveling. Although I don’t think I’d copy any of Pan’s experiments – there’s definitely a cathartic element to reading this; if you’re also an introvert, you’ll feel nothing but relief that she’s done these things so you don’t have to – I can at least emulate her in initiating deeper conversations with friends and pushing myself to attend literary and networking events instead of just staying at home.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Sara Tucker

    As an introvert with occasionally crippling social anxiety, I regarded Jess Pan's book warily. I saw the cover online, laughed at the icing-on-the-cake image, and then gave the subtitle a little side-eye. An introvert… saying yes… for a whole year? Say it ain't so. Alas, Pan pulled me in with enticing  hopes of being more extroverted without it costing me my sanity, and I'm very happy I gave this one a chance. I'll start off by saying that motivational, inspirational books like  You Are a Badass As an introvert with occasionally crippling social anxiety, I regarded Jess Pan's book warily. I saw the cover online, laughed at the icing-on-the-cake image, and then gave the subtitle a little side-eye. An introvert… saying yes… for a whole year? Say it ain't so. Alas, Pan pulled me in with enticing  hopes of being more extroverted without it costing me my sanity, and I'm very happy I gave this one a chance. I'll start off by saying that motivational, inspirational books like  You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life and  The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life are my jam. I love fist pumping my way through and being completely convinced (while sitting quietly alone in my house) that I can conquer all my social-anxiety fears and do anything. And then I put the book down and happily prepare for an afternoon in peaceful solitude. The thing I feel these books have in common is that they were written by extroverts. What makes Pan's work so convincing is that the root of her perceived issues stems from her being an introvert. Yes! After acknowledging that maybe she could use a bit more of a social life, Pan vows to spend the following year doing things well outside of her comfort zone, including going to networking events where she doesn't know anyone (gasp), meeting women from Bumble BFF for coffee or drinks in the hope of feeling the elusive friend-spark (yikes), taking an improv comedy class (please, no), traveling alone and letting a complete stranger pick the destination (you can't even use a guidebook for help making plans when you get there: double yikes), doing stand-up comedy (I'd rather die), and hosting a dinner party (I mean, at least these people already like her).  I so totally appreciated the lengths Pan went to for this book. Instead of making bold proclamations about how totally rewarding uncomfortable social events can be (*cough* only an extrovert would say this *cough*), she goes out and does the legwork for us introverts reading with apt attention. And guess what: sometimes it really sucks. She had some really awful, panic-inducing, I'd-rather-be-anywhere-but-here moments along the way, but she stuck with it and came out with a group of unexpected new friends to invite to a dinner party.  Pan is the introvert that acknowledges that sometimes introversion is a bit of a problem, makes the resolution to try her hand at extroversion, and faces her fears for an entire year to learn that some of the stuff she was (any many introverts are, I'm sure) afraid of really wasn't that bad. She morphs from a "shintrovert" (shy introvert) into a budding "grintrovert" (gregarious introvert) in hilarious, heartwarming fashion.  Her story is one that will stick with me when I'm dreading a networking event or considering cancelling plans, and I'll recommend her advice to many of my introvert friends.  Many thanks to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for the opportunity to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Mehrsa

    Too shallow to be worthwhile. It's all about a shy introvert pushing herself to do extroverted things like speaking in front of people or talking to people randomly and sharing her goofy adventures along the way. I don't love the obsession people seem to have with labels like introvert and extrovert, but I also find it odd that there are no books written by extroverts about how they decided not to always be out or talking to strangers or maybe they decided to stay home and read and how that year Too shallow to be worthwhile. It's all about a shy introvert pushing herself to do extroverted things like speaking in front of people or talking to people randomly and sharing her goofy adventures along the way. I don't love the obsession people seem to have with labels like introvert and extrovert, but I also find it odd that there are no books written by extroverts about how they decided not to always be out or talking to strangers or maybe they decided to stay home and read and how that year changed them for the better? It seems to me that everyone considers themselves to be an introvert these days and seems to revel in their awkwardness yet it all seems a bit self-absorbed. Pan seems to recognize this briefly when she's talking about getting over her fear of public speaking and realizing that nobody even cares. I think that's right. I wonder if everyone who seems themselves as a shy introvert and everyone else as smooth extroverts is actually just lacking a bit of humility and perspective. Maybe everyone feels shy and awkward meeting new people and maybe we're all just a bit lonely and also in need of human contact.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Rachel

    *thank you to to Netgalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review* 3 stars. As an introvert I thought that this would be right up my alley. And to some degree it was. I could relate to certain parts of it but there was still a lot that made me realise just how much of an introvert I am as I felt that the people in these short stories were more outgoing than I am, so for that reason there was a lot that didn't interest me or that I could relate to. St *thank you to to Netgalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review* 3 stars. As an introvert I thought that this would be right up my alley. And to some degree it was. I could relate to certain parts of it but there was still a lot that made me realise just how much of an introvert I am as I felt that the people in these short stories were more outgoing than I am, so for that reason there was a lot that didn't interest me or that I could relate to. Still it had parts that made me smile and it was quite well written. I really really like the name for this book. It's one of my favourite sayings. This collection of short stories I can see being a hit for a lot of people. It's just unfortunately isn't for me so much but it's still a good read.

  11. 5 out of 5

    The Captain

    Ahoy there me mateys!  I received this memoir eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.  So here be me honest musings . . . Okay so I be an introvert from an entire family of very extroverted people.  The ma can meet and talk to anyone and makes life-long friends everywhere she goes.  Me sis loves parties and tons of people hanging out at her house.  I be a tough ol' salt who has a withering glare, a distaste for crowds, and a cutless for prodding if ye get too close.  And yet I be th Ahoy there me mateys!  I received this memoir eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.  So here be me honest musings . . . Okay so I be an introvert from an entire family of very extroverted people.  The ma can meet and talk to anyone and makes life-long friends everywhere she goes.  Me sis loves parties and tons of people hanging out at her house.  I be a tough ol' salt who has a withering glare, a distaste for crowds, and a cutless for prodding if ye get too close.  And yet I be the weird one.  Bah!  As I grown older and even more set in me ways, I like nothing more than long nights at sea with me book and me bunk and the peace of the waves.  So when I saw this title it made me laugh and I had to give it a go. And the author's journey is hell, pure and simple.  I was impressed.  I can talk to strangers if I must.  Though the sails end up tattered and all hope was nearly lost, I have survived public speaking engagements.  A Captain must do such things or face mutiny.  But doing improv or performing stand-up comedy.  I would rather slit me own throat.  I am an introvert who despises having to force extrovertedness at all costs.  Only for survival mateys! I ended up having a decent time reading this one.  I certainly found the first half of the book much more to me taste then the second half.  I feel that the latter part of her year seemed to be discussed in less detail.  It was less about the interesting people she met and more about the social situations liking traveling alone or taking magic mushrooms or more comedy nights.  I have no interest in the mushrooms and no problems traveling alone.  So I did get a bit bored.  But ultimately I applaud this kindred introvert and her pluck.  Congrats matey.  I raise me grog in toast.  Arrrr! So lastly . . . Thank you Andrews McMeel Publishing! Side note: for the large majority of introverts on me crew, if ye haven't read quiet: the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking then I suggest giving it a gander!

  12. 4 out of 5

    Emma

    I absolutely loved this! Even though I am not a shy introvert but a “normal” introvert, this was super relatable. The writing is fun and easy to read, and I had to laugh out loud while reading certain paragraphs. With regards to genre, I would put this somewhere between self-help and an autobiography/memoir. This setup can be very hit and miss for me, but in this case it turned out great. I am now very curious about Jessica Pan’s other book and will probably pick it up in the future.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Montzalee Wittmann

    Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes by Jessica Pan This is a book I requested from NetGalley and the review is voluntary. This is a witty and clever book that I enjoyed reading. I can say relate to some of it. It has humor and is a good feeling book. I did find she repeated herself a lot. Worth the read.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Jennifer

    This is the EXACTLY the book I needed. I don't think I have ever written a book, but reading this one makes me think I have. I too am a 30 something, shy, introverted, small town Texas girl who has no idea how to have a conversation (that doesn't involve ghosts or dogs) or make friends. I'm not Chinese, Aries or named Jessica (Pan) but I would have been if my cousin hadn't been born first, forcing my Mom to "get creative" and name me Jennifer (Ann) instead. The title of this book caught my attent This is the EXACTLY the book I needed. I don't think I have ever written a book, but reading this one makes me think I have. I too am a 30 something, shy, introverted, small town Texas girl who has no idea how to have a conversation (that doesn't involve ghosts or dogs) or make friends. I'm not Chinese, Aries or named Jessica (Pan) but I would have been if my cousin hadn't been born first, forcing my Mom to "get creative" and name me Jennifer (Ann) instead. The title of this book caught my attention, because SAME, but I had no idea just how relatable it was going to be! There were SO many times I caught myself nodding along enthusiastically or cringing at how awful some of these experiences she was forcing herself to have were, and just laughing out loud. Literally. I have finished this book inspired to go on an extrovert journey of my own - not today - but maybe someday soon I will be as brave as Jessica is. I was lucky enough to be provided this ARC in exchange for an honest and unbiased review via Netgalley. All opinions are genuine and my own.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Genevieve Trono

    I was totally intrigued when I saw the title of this book. I am a social introvert and I enjoyed this lighthearted but relatable non-fiction book that read like an engaging novel. As a shy introvert frequently known as a "shintrovert", Jessica Pan decided to take a year to step out of her shell and enter the "extroverted world". After a family crisis in her family turned into a light bulb moment she realized she was lacking in the friend's department. She decided to take this time to focus on co I was totally intrigued when I saw the title of this book. I am a social introvert and I enjoyed this lighthearted but relatable non-fiction book that read like an engaging novel. As a shy introvert frequently known as a "shintrovert", Jessica Pan decided to take a year to step out of her shell and enter the "extroverted world". After a family crisis in her family turned into a light bulb moment she realized she was lacking in the friend's department. She decided to take this time to focus on connecting with new people who might just turn into the good friends she was hoping for in her own life. She shares her trials and tribulations and also the things she learned along the way...many of which, pleasantly surprised her. This book was insightful and humorous and if this title catches your eye, you might enjoy it too! Thank you to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Britany

    Jessica Pan decides to spend a year getting out of her own introvert way by trying different methods to put herself out there. She tries networking, Friend Bumble to make new girlfriends, writing, improv and finally leading to stand up comedy and public speaking. I really enjoyed hearing her story and watching as she literally takes the most extroverted things and accomplishes them (albeit uncomfortably). She's put through the ringer a few times, but manages to make a case and enough content for Jessica Pan decides to spend a year getting out of her own introvert way by trying different methods to put herself out there. She tries networking, Friend Bumble to make new girlfriends, writing, improv and finally leading to stand up comedy and public speaking. I really enjoyed hearing her story and watching as she literally takes the most extroverted things and accomplishes them (albeit uncomfortably). She's put through the ringer a few times, but manages to make a case and enough content for a book deal. This was good on audio, not great. The lesson learned is that we are all mixture of our personalities and sometimes you have to put yourself out there to live your very best life. Lesson Learned.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Jen

    This book was at turns hilarious and caused much head-nodding by this reader in agreement and wonder. Yes, apparently many people think and feel the same way about various social interactions. It is always a comfort to realize you are not the only one to feel a certain way. This author may not be a natural at stand-up comedy, BUT she completely blew me away with her writing. I understand that some of that credit goes to editors, Beta-readers, etc., but the meat of the book is HER. And she is fri This book was at turns hilarious and caused much head-nodding by this reader in agreement and wonder. Yes, apparently many people think and feel the same way about various social interactions. It is always a comfort to realize you are not the only one to feel a certain way. This author may not be a natural at stand-up comedy, BUT she completely blew me away with her writing. I understand that some of that credit goes to editors, Beta-readers, etc., but the meat of the book is HER. And she is friggin' hysterical. Or at the very least, can tell a story that would be humiliating with inner snarky monologue that makes it funny enough to read and laugh and not cringe and put the book down as carefully as possible to pretend that you didn't just read that. I honestly still have quotes from the book floating in my head and they pop up at random times to make me smile or laugh. This book was a brave endeavor by a very introverted women who wanted to see if she could live differently and still respect her boundaries, to see what boundaries she needed to be comfortable and happy and what she should move, change, or do away with altogether. She had/has guts and I respect her for that. I wouldn't have done a good portion of what she did, but I respect that she did it and that she seems to be happier now. This was an amazingly funny and insightful book. I highly recommend it to just about everyone, those who are introverts and extroverts. It doesn't matter which you are, since most people are a mix, it would be very surprising if you didn't see a bit of yourself in her struggles and triumphs. A very human book. 5, introspective and funny, stars. Worth the read, definitely! My thanks to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for an eARC copy of this book to read and review.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Fieke

    This is a really interesting book with the best audiobook. I wish I had this book five years ago, because I think over the years I have also become much less shy. This book was more of a fun, hilarious and culture-reference filled story than a big revelation. Nothing really shocking but still I had a great time. UPDATE: I so often find myself thinking back to this book that I just had to add it to my favourites. This book has a lot of notes on how to care less about what people think of you and h This is a really interesting book with the best audiobook. I wish I had this book five years ago, because I think over the years I have also become much less shy. This book was more of a fun, hilarious and culture-reference filled story than a big revelation. Nothing really shocking but still I had a great time. UPDATE: I so often find myself thinking back to this book that I just had to add it to my favourites. This book has a lot of notes on how to care less about what people think of you and how to face your fears. It is super relatable and nice.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Anna

    This review has been delayed by four days thanks to a) the distraction of Brexit mayhem, and b) having three visitors (two humans, one husky) to stay, but this is no reflection upon the book. I thoroughly enjoyed Jessica Pan’s voyage into the unfamiliar world of extroversion. After finding herself lonely in London because all her friends had moved away, she decided to spend a year trying practically everything that seems scary and off-putting to a shy introvert. She recounts in engaging and very This review has been delayed by four days thanks to a) the distraction of Brexit mayhem, and b) having three visitors (two humans, one husky) to stay, but this is no reflection upon the book. I thoroughly enjoyed Jessica Pan’s voyage into the unfamiliar world of extroversion. After finding herself lonely in London because all her friends had moved away, she decided to spend a year trying practically everything that seems scary and off-putting to a shy introvert. She recounts in engaging and very funny style her adventures with stand-up comedy, networking events, friend-dating, and even... improv: ’What’s the best way to meet more people?’ I posted this question on Facebook, vowing that I would do whatever people suggested. You know. Crowd-sourcing. Hive mind. Tribe. The masses. My community would give me brilliant ideas that would change my life. Then some arsehole in the tribe replied with, ‘Improv comedy’. Is there a phrase that carries a greater sense of dread than ‘improv comedy’? That is guaranteed to make people scream in horror when you mention it at parties? Only ‘Gwyneth’s jade egg’ or ‘cash only’ can compare. [...] But I think people really can’t stand it for another reason. And it’s this: while watching a regional comedy troupe acting out an Uber journey through Nudist Narnia, they observe the performers’ joyous, earnest expressions. The audience sees how genuinely happy and safe they feel in their whimsy. And they think the same thing I do: Your vigour for life appals me. Although I enjoyed the book as a hilarious memoir of absurd personal anecdotes, it was also thought-provoking and at times really quite moving. I’d expected to think Pan was brave but deranged for trying all these ostensibly awful social activities, when she could have just kept reading on the sofa (like me). Yet I finished the book feeling cautiously inspired and a bit guilty for my own lack of effort to be less of a shy introvert. Not only do I avoid new activities (alarming) and new people (exhausting), but I struggle to manage Deep Talk even with those I’ve known for years. My typical conversation topics are: The Vicissitudes of Employment, Such Weather Lately, Transport Systems Are Sent To Try Us, and That Reminds Me Of A Book I Recently Read. My idea of Deep Talk is more Capitalism Dooms Us All than anything to do with feelings. It’s difficult to be emotionally vulnerable yourself and much easier to listen sympathetically while others talk, yet also important so as not to feel lonely. Pan’s adventures meeting new people and pushing her comfort zone are a reminder that beliefs about ourselves can be imprisoning. I may be a shy introvert, but I lecture students for a living. 12 years ago I was terrified of giving presentations; with practise I've got used to it, although it's still tiring. There are probably other social things I could become better at with effort and practise, particularly networking. (I fucking hate networking.) The appeal of improv remains mysterious, but talking to strangers seems perhaps very slightly less scary after reading this wholly delightful book.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Jen

    This is a tricky one to review, in that Jessica Pan's writing is quite good in an informal, chatty, magazine style and is clearly well researched - but I'm not really sure about the concept. The synopsis is: "An introvert spends a year trying to live like an extrovert with hilarious results and advice for readers along the way..." In a time where we have had Susan Cain's book "Quiet", which Pan even makes reference to, it seems a shame that introverts still feel they need to try to be something This is a tricky one to review, in that Jessica Pan's writing is quite good in an informal, chatty, magazine style and is clearly well researched - but I'm not really sure about the concept. The synopsis is: "An introvert spends a year trying to live like an extrovert with hilarious results and advice for readers along the way..." In a time where we have had Susan Cain's book "Quiet", which Pan even makes reference to, it seems a shame that introverts still feel they need to try to be something they're not (i.e. more extroverted) in order to be happy. (And where's the parallel title where an extrovert spends a year saying no and learning the pleasures of solitude?) Nonetheless, as an introvert myself, I was intrigued to learn more about her experiment. It was cool to read about Pan using Bumble BFF as I actually met one of my BFFs (hi Donna!) through this app. Although I value plenty of 'me-time' it's still important to me to have social connection (preferably on a one-to-one basis) but it's hard to make new friends as an introverted adult. I think this platonic Tinder-esque platform is actually a great way for introverts to make friends as you get to read the person's bio, see if you have something in common, and do some online chatting before meeting in person. Whilst Pan struggled with it, I actually like solo travel (although I'd find it a nightmare doing it without a guide book and extensive pre-planning!) and I'd be ok hosting a dinner party of friends - as she discovered, hosts get plenty of time to hide in the kitchen for respite! However, the idea of going to big networking events, and doing improv and stand up is nightmarish to me, and indeed whilst Pan gains some self-understanding through these, the negative effect on her mental health makes me question whether it was really worth it. Overall, the book has some helpful advice if you're a shy extrovert (they do exist) or an ambivert, but I don't think it's really that beneficial to true introverts.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Howard

    4.5 Stars for Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come: An Introvert’s Year in Living Dangerously (audiobook) by Jessica Pan read by the author. If you really liked Quiet by Susan Cain you should read this. You may enjoy this book or it may freak you out. This is a good example of someone challenging themself to being more outgoing. It’s good to know we can adapt it we put our minds to it. I wish these books were written forty years ago.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Reshma *Just one more chapter before I go to sleep* Bell

    4.5 stars

  23. 4 out of 5

    Sarah

    Introverts CAN have all the fun, or at least write about it in a way that has the rest of us laughing and turning the pages like our fingers are on fire... Guilty: I totally picked this book up because the title made me laugh. (And the cover was cute, too.) ‟I assumed that life as a shy introvert would go on this way for me forever,” Jessica Pan writes in the introduction. ‟But then, something unusual happened: I found myself roasting in a sauna, clutching a copy of Men’s Health, wearing a full-le Introverts CAN have all the fun, or at least write about it in a way that has the rest of us laughing and turning the pages like our fingers are on fire... Guilty: I totally picked this book up because the title made me laugh. (And the cover was cute, too.) ‟I assumed that life as a shy introvert would go on this way for me forever,” Jessica Pan writes in the introduction. ‟But then, something unusual happened: I found myself roasting in a sauna, clutching a copy of Men’s Health, wearing a full-length black tracksuit, and weeping as I yelled profanities at a spa employee. ‟And something had to change.” What Pan did could best be described as diving into the deep-end, in a way even extroverts find cringe-worthy and horrifying. She spent a year forcing herself out into contact with others: It was uncomfortable (and hilarious) to read. She spoke to complete strangers. She told her story in front of an audience. She performed a stand-up comedy act (not once, not twice, but three times). She did improv. And — the thing that made my skin cold — she hosted a dinner party. Here’s the thing: She survived. She learned about herself, she came to appreciate other people, and she made huge strides in overcoming her discomfort around her fellow humans. And she did it in a way that had me laughing and reading passages to my husband. For his part, he’s just glad I finished it quickly so he can go back to watching football in peace. 🙃 Highly recommended: This book reads so quickly and easily, it could be fiction.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Renee (itsbooktalk)

    I mentioned awhile back that I had bought this based purely on the title. I’m definitely an introvert and wanted to see how much of myself I could see in the book as well as how the author challenged herself to live like an extrovert for a year. Conclusion: I saw ALOT of myself in the book and much of the extroverted behaviors the author challenged herself to do made me say to myself, I’d never do that. By the end, it also made me say, sometimes it wouldn’t hurt to try...except improv & stand up I mentioned awhile back that I had bought this based purely on the title. I’m definitely an introvert and wanted to see how much of myself I could see in the book as well as how the author challenged herself to live like an extrovert for a year. Conclusion: I saw ALOT of myself in the book and much of the extroverted behaviors the author challenged herself to do made me say to myself, I’d never do that. By the end, it also made me say, sometimes it wouldn’t hurt to try...except improv & stand up comedy, that’s never going to happen! ⠀⠀ The book is broken up in chapters based on what new task she’s challenged herself with, like talking to strangers, friend dating, traveling solo, joining an improve class and more. I especially loved that she consulted experts in psychology to add their professional opinions and advice on introversion. ⠀⠀ While I have the print copy, I ended up listening to the entire book since the author narrates and she really did an excellent job! It felt like she was personally telling me her story. I flew through the first half which in my opinion is the strongest half as the second focuses much more on her experience with stand up comedy and improve which I wasn’t really interested in. ⠀⠀

  25. 4 out of 5

    Grumpus

    The grumpus23 (23-word commentary) Making friends is hard for anyone, especially for introverts. Hilarity ensues as author learns and lives life as an extrovert for a year.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Meagan

    Jessica Pan, self proclaimed "shintrovert" (shy introvert), decides to extrovert to the extreme for one year. Among other things, she signs up for improv classes, travels solo, does The Moth, and performs stand up comedy. Overall, I really liked Pan's tone and voice. She's relatable and funny and feels like a friend. She interviews multiple social gurus about introversion, charisma, and public speaking anxiety. There's tons of great advice here - how to make friends after college (I've wondered!) Jessica Pan, self proclaimed "shintrovert" (shy introvert), decides to extrovert to the extreme for one year. Among other things, she signs up for improv classes, travels solo, does The Moth, and performs stand up comedy. Overall, I really liked Pan's tone and voice. She's relatable and funny and feels like a friend. She interviews multiple social gurus about introversion, charisma, and public speaking anxiety. There's tons of great advice here - how to make friends after college (I've wondered!) or how to throw a successful dinner party. Sorry I'm Late inspired me to shake things up in my own life. I'd like to do the cheap version of this book. I'm all about self discovery, but Pan's version includes spare cash for plane tickets. I am in awe and quite jealous. My only hang up concerns introvert/extrovert stereotypes. I've seen many an article titled "How to Care for Your Introvert" or something along those lines. And I, fellow introvert, appreciate that. However, I can't help but sense this tone that all extroverts are shallow while introverts are too busy reading Ulysses or staring at a large globe. From my experience, even the most extroverted of people have trouble reaching out or expressing vulnerability in social interactions at times. Of course, that could be me reading too much into things.

  27. 4 out of 5

    McKenzie/literarydragon

    Published May 28th I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. If you’re an introvert go get a copy of this book! full review can be found here: https://www.literarydragonreviews.web... OMG! This book! It was like reading a mirror. In my notes I wrote “this lady might actually be me.” I mean she even moved to China and took a job that terrified her. I took a job in China that forced me to spend 18 hours a week teaching a class of strangers and the other 22 hours planning (re Published May 28th I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. If you’re an introvert go get a copy of this book! full review can be found here: https://www.literarydragonreviews.web... OMG! This book! It was like reading a mirror. In my notes I wrote “this lady might actually be me.” I mean she even moved to China and took a job that terrified her. I took a job in China that forced me to spend 18 hours a week teaching a class of strangers and the other 22 hours planning (read stressing) about those classes. It was awful and amazing. I did both better and worse than I ever imagined I could and it was mostly better. Reading Jessica Pan’s experience of such a similar situation was rewarding and made me feel connected to a complete stranger like only a good book can. Jessica Pan even had the same reaction to Quiet by Susan Cain as I did. I felt so relieved reading Quiet. It felt like it was okay to be more for once and it was okay to not want to talk to complete strangers and make friends in public places for no reason other than liking people. And just like Pan I used Quiet as an excuse to ... for the full review please visit https://www.literarydragonreviews.web... Tell me how you feel about this review in the comments. Let me know how you feel about being an introvert or an extrovert. What was the book you read that made you feel like it was okay to be you? For more reviews like this feel free to visit my blog https://www.literarydragonreviews.web...

  28. 4 out of 5

    Jeannette

    Upfront, I received a free copy of this book from Net Galley in exchange for possibly reviewing it. I LOVED this book. I am an Introvert with a Myers-Briggs I. This book was on my TBR as soon as I saw the title. I'm not a shintrovert like the author. I have to pretend to be an extrovert for work, and it is exhausting! What's a shintrovert? Read the book. Still, I could relate to her story on so many levels. Oddly enough, I have also lived in Beijing and London. I know exactly the challenges she's Upfront, I received a free copy of this book from Net Galley in exchange for possibly reviewing it. I LOVED this book. I am an Introvert with a Myers-Briggs I. This book was on my TBR as soon as I saw the title. I'm not a shintrovert like the author. I have to pretend to be an extrovert for work, and it is exhausting! What's a shintrovert? Read the book. Still, I could relate to her story on so many levels. Oddly enough, I have also lived in Beijing and London. I know exactly the challenges she's talking about. She is a lot kinder in describing them than I am. I really enjoyed her approach to the personal challenge she set. Besides being funny and entertaining, the book is surprisingly educational. I learned quite a bit, and I felt she really incorporated expert advice so well. If you are an introvert, read this book. You'll find a kindred spirit. If you are an extrovert but always wondered why introverts do the things they do, read this book. If you don't know what you are, take a Myers-Briggs test first, then read the book. And Jessica, now that I know many of your deepest, darkest secrets, would it be weird if I still wanted to be friends? #SorryImLateIDidntWantToCome #NetGalley

  29. 5 out of 5

    Jane

    Susan Cain’s book Quiet was the first book I ever read that spoke positively about introverts. In fact she changed the narrative for introverts and for that reason alone, it is an astounding, impactful, important read for both introverts and extroverts. I admired the bravery and sheer guts of the author of “Sorry I’m late...”. I admire that she had the courage to get outside her comfort zone and do things she would never previously have dreamt of doing and in doing so changed aspects of her life Susan Cain’s book Quiet was the first book I ever read that spoke positively about introverts. In fact she changed the narrative for introverts and for that reason alone, it is an astounding, impactful, important read for both introverts and extroverts. I admired the bravery and sheer guts of the author of “Sorry I’m late...”. I admire that she had the courage to get outside her comfort zone and do things she would never previously have dreamt of doing and in doing so changed aspects of her life. My 2 star rating is more because the overall vibe I got from the story/experiment was that “negative introvert narrative”. Namely that introverts are shy, struggle with socializing, prefer to stay at home, and that extroverts are more fun, have more fun etc, etc. And that it’s more fun/ advantageous to be an extrovert. In terms of a book for introverts, I preferred Quiet.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Karen

    As a fellow introvert, I can definitely relate to a lot of Jessica Pan's experiences and struggles. Pan had a goal of breaking out of her shell and enlisted the help and advice of some experts along the way. Her story is shared with lots of insight and plenty of humor. This book was a lot of fun to read and I learned a few things too. While I won't be signing up for stand-up classes anytime soon, I definitely could benefit from breaking out of my own shell a bit more often. Thanks, Jessica, for As a fellow introvert, I can definitely relate to a lot of Jessica Pan's experiences and struggles. Pan had a goal of breaking out of her shell and enlisted the help and advice of some experts along the way. Her story is shared with lots of insight and plenty of humor. This book was a lot of fun to read and I learned a few things too. While I won't be signing up for stand-up classes anytime soon, I definitely could benefit from breaking out of my own shell a bit more often. Thanks, Jessica, for sharing your experiences! Thanks to Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.

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