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The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired

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Parenting isnt easy. Showing up is. Your greatest impact begins right where you are. Now the bestselling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood. There is parenting magic in this book.Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author of the New York Times bestselling classic Raising Cain One of the very best scientific Parenting isn’t easy. Showing up is. Your greatest impact begins right where you are. Now the bestselling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood. “There is parenting magic in this book.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author of the New York Times bestselling classic Raising Cain One of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out—in terms of happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships—is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them. In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions, showing up for your child might sound like a tall order. But as bestselling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain, it doesn’t take a lot of time, energy, or money. Instead, showing up means offering a quality of presence. And it’s simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child’s healthy development. Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S’s: • Safe: We can’t always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change. • Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions—both positive and negative—and strive to attune to what’s happening in his mind beneath his behavior. • Soothed: Soothing isn’t about providing a life of ease; it’s about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him that you’ll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he’ll never have to suffer alone. • Secure: When a child knows she can count on you, time and again, to show up—when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive! Based on the latest brain and attachment research, The Power of Showing Up shares stories, scripts, simple strategies, illustrations, and tips for honoring the Four S’s effectively in all kinds of situations—when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling, disciplining, or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don’t show up for them. Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it’s never too late to mend broken trust, this book is a powerful guide to cultivating your child’s healthy emotional landscape.


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Parenting isnt easy. Showing up is. Your greatest impact begins right where you are. Now the bestselling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood. There is parenting magic in this book.Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author of the New York Times bestselling classic Raising Cain One of the very best scientific Parenting isn’t easy. Showing up is. Your greatest impact begins right where you are. Now the bestselling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood. “There is parenting magic in this book.”—Michael Thompson, Ph.D., co-author of the New York Times bestselling classic Raising Cain One of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out—in terms of happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships—is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them. In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions, showing up for your child might sound like a tall order. But as bestselling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain, it doesn’t take a lot of time, energy, or money. Instead, showing up means offering a quality of presence. And it’s simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child’s healthy development. Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S’s: • Safe: We can’t always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change. • Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions—both positive and negative—and strive to attune to what’s happening in his mind beneath his behavior. • Soothed: Soothing isn’t about providing a life of ease; it’s about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him that you’ll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he’ll never have to suffer alone. • Secure: When a child knows she can count on you, time and again, to show up—when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive! Based on the latest brain and attachment research, The Power of Showing Up shares stories, scripts, simple strategies, illustrations, and tips for honoring the Four S’s effectively in all kinds of situations—when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling, disciplining, or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don’t show up for them. Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it’s never too late to mend broken trust, this book is a powerful guide to cultivating your child’s healthy emotional landscape.

30 review for The Power of Showing Up: How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired

  1. 4 out of 5

    Whitney

    Thank you to Random House for the free ARC. I am not a huge fan of parenting books, but this one is exactly what I needed to read, and wish I'd read 5 years ago when I became a part. The authors' writing style is so accessible and easy to digest, while still packing in so much great information. They focus on how to show up for our kids physically and emotionally, and how giving them the Four S's helped our kids learn healthy relational attachment with us and sets them up for success in life. Thank you to Random House for the free ARC. I am not a huge fan of parenting books, but this one is exactly what I needed to read, and wish I'd read 5 years ago when I became a part. The authors' writing style is so accessible and easy to digest, while still packing in so much great information. They focus on how to show up for our kids physically and emotionally, and how giving them the Four S's helped our kids learn healthy relational attachment with us and sets them up for success in life. Their examples are concrete and easily applicable. Their tone is nonjudgemental but honest about what happens when we don't show up for our kids or repair the relational damage our inevitable mistakes cause with our kids. It has also released me from the voice in my head that tells me I need to toughen up my kids and make them strong and even keep them from relying on me too much. It's such a necessary book for parents, and I've been recommending it to friends even before I finished.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Genevieve Trono

    When I saw that authors Siegel and Bryson were releasing a new parenting book, I couldn't request The Power of Showing Up fast enough! Their past writing has been such a formative part of my own parenting. Siegel and Bryson always share their knowledge, research, and experiences in an accessible and compassionate way. While they have decades of work in this area they make brain development and psychology approachable and easy to understand have the ability to write in a way that makes you feel When I saw that authors Siegel and Bryson were releasing a new parenting book, I couldn't request The Power of Showing Up fast enough! Their past writing has been such a formative part of my own parenting. Siegel and Bryson always share their knowledge, research, and experiences in an accessible and compassionate way. While they have decades of work in this area they make brain development and psychology approachable and easy to understand have the ability to write in a way that makes you feel heard while also empowering you with new tools and ideas. The Power of Showing Up is another wonderful addition to their collection of books that speak to you whether you are a parent, caregiver, teacher, etc. They take on attachment theory and share the powerful reminder that the most important thing we can do for our children and to be there for them. Doing this, we can teach and show them the value of comfort, support and unconditional love through both the highs and lows of being humans. They explain how we can do this through the idea of the "Four S's"...being seen, safe, soothed and secure. As a person who experienced insecure attachment as a child, I often hyper-focus on our children always knowing they are heard and loved, while also dealing with the reality that parenting is never-ending and sometimes I lose my cool. The reality is, everyone makes mistakes, and it is what we do next that is far more important. While I know this in theory, having it presented in an insightful and accessible manner is something I will always remember. I could go on and on about this book but I will just say that I highly recommend it and got so much out of it. Thank you to NetGalley and Ballantine Books for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review. You can see my full review at genthebookworm.com

  3. 5 out of 5

    Nabeel Hassan

    Apply the book 4 A in your parenting style to see the result today and future in your kids.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Nursebookie

    We all want to become better parents for our children and yet our children did not come with a HOW TO or a book of instructions. Fear not, because this book lays it out in a very clear, no fluff, and easy to read book outlining in an easy to remember guide full of examples and scenarios. It is no surprise the success of our children is dependent on how present we are for them and will actually serve as a predictor for their success in life as far as their personal and academic success, the We all want to become better parents for our children and yet our children did not come with a HOW TO or a book of instructions. Fear not, because this book lays it out in a very clear, no fluff, and easy to read book outlining in an easy to remember guide full of examples and scenarios. It is no surprise the success of our children is dependent on how present we are for them and will actually serve as a predictor for their success in life as far as their personal and academic success, the development of their leadership skills and their future relationships with others. Being present does not have to cost a lot of time, money or energy, but to showing up and being there in the moment, and the quality of your presence makes all the difference. The information Siegel and Bryson present in this book are backed up by science and well-grounded and proven research. I fell that the information in the book is something that I can trust as far as the validity of the information they are presenting. I enjoy the highlights and pictures in the book to emphasize the topics that are being presented and reinforces the material covered. I also enjoy the real life scenarios and examples on how to handle situations you may encounter from a bad example to the best way to handle certain situations. The writing is easy to understand and the information presented is enjoyable and makes for an easy read. I loved this book and will be using it as a resource. This is a must read for would be and current parents and grandparents as well as educators. I highly recommend this book and would make great gifts for parents.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Kat Ayres

    Wow. SO many parts of this book resonated with me and brought me to tears. I long suspected that I had an insecure ambivalent attachment style, due to the way I was raised and how my mother was with me. This book confirmed it and has renewed my intention to give my son a better life than what I had. Everyone should read this book, even if you dont have excessive amounts of childhood trauma.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Michelle Cynthia

    The book emphasizes that our ultimate goal as parents is to cultivate secure attachment in our children in order to help set them up for a healthy sense of identity, quality relationships, and academic/professional successultimately, resilience and independence. As parents, we must help our children feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure and the book focuses on these ideas. The book asks parents to reflect on their own childhood experiences and examine the type of attachment the parent received, The book emphasizes that our ultimate goal as parents is to cultivate secure attachment in our children in order to help set them up for a healthy sense of identity, quality relationships, and academic/professional success—ultimately, resilience and independence. As parents, we must help our children feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure and the book focuses on these ideas. The book asks parents to reflect on their own childhood experiences and examine the type of attachment the parent received, as well, in order to develop and understand their own narratives. I found the research on secure, avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized attachment to be very interesting. The book challenges parents to commit to not being the source of fear for our children in our own homes—a true challenge that includes not yelling, threatening, spanking, or even overreacting. (Ch.3 “Safe”) Ch. 4 (“Seen”) focuses on creating depth in our relationships with our children, something we all hope for in our lives. Later, the authors focus on PEACE—presence, engagement, affection, calm, empathy (“Soothe”). I appreciated the ideas that parents must provide both a launching pad (support and encourage) and a safe harbor (nurture) for their children. This book is beneficial to read if you have very young children to start off parenting in a positive way (and be prepared for when those tantrums and big feelings arise), but it is not too late to apply the ideas to older children, as well. The only negative, in my opinion, is that the book was repetitive at times.

  7. 4 out of 5

    BookOfCinz

    I saw this book on a list and I decided to give it a read because this is a book I generally would not read but I was curious about. I don't want to have kids but I am really interested in how one should parent responsible. Even though I don't see myself as a parent, I do have a lot of friends who are parents, expecting or aunties & uncles so this book was very insightful. Also, even though I don't want to be a parent it doesn't mean I don't want to learn how to have a great impact on the I saw this book on a list and I decided to give it a read because this is a book I generally would not read but I was curious about. I don't want to have kids but I am really interested in how one should parent responsible. Even though I don't see myself as a parent, I do have a lot of friends who are parents, expecting or aunties & uncles so this book was very insightful. Also, even though I don't want to be a parent it doesn't mean I don't want to learn how to have a great impact on the children Ill come in contact with. In The Power of Showing Up Siegel shares with us the different ways we can show up for our children, making them well adjusted adults. He stresses the four S's -SAFE, SEEN, SOOTHED and SECURED- in doing these four things he outlines how parents can raise better children. I highly recommend you give this book a read, even if you aren't a parent. What I absolutely LOVED was that Siegel also worked through how parents can recover from their past and be better parents. A great read.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Bruin Mccon

    When we know our kids in a direct and truthful way, they learn to know themselves that way, too. The Power of Showing Up is the fourth in the quartet of parenting books by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. First things first. I was excited to get my hands on an advance review copy of this book because I have two other books written by this duo and they are top-notch. Ive read a lot of parenting books but these are the ones that have stayed with me through my entire parenting journey thus far. “When we know our kids in a direct and truthful way, they learn to know themselves that way, too.” The Power of Showing Up is the fourth in the quartet of parenting books by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. First things first. I was excited to get my hands on an advance review copy of this book because I have two other books written by this duo and they are top-notch. I’ve read a lot of parenting books but these are the ones that have stayed with me through my entire parenting journey thus far. TPoSU is about how to create a secure attachment for your child(ren). This is already something I’ve been obsessed with for far longer than I’ve had children. I believe my secure attachment has made an enormous difference in my life and I hope to be able to give the same gift to my children. So this book couldn’t be more timely. While TPoSU is a parenting book, so much of how we parent depends on how we were parented. Hence, this book has a significant focus on reflecting on the reader’s own attachment style and finding a way to not just understand it but come to terms with it in order to be there for the next generation. This is something that will impact not just parent-child relations but every significant relationship in your life. Look, we all know people with issues and often time they fit neatly in the avoidant or anxious attachment styles. That’s just life and it’s not fair to judge them for how they were raised. This book provides, for a motivated person, a way to start healing wounds from childhood. (Side note: Thrilled about Dan’s “attachment” to UCLA. Go Bruins!!!!) This is an excellent book that I plan to give to several couples I know who are expecting their first child.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Genevieve Trono

    When I saw that authors Siegel and Bryson were releasing a new parenting book, I couldn't request The Power of Showing Up fast enough! Their past writing has been such a formative part of my own parenting. Siegel and Bryson always share their knowledge, research, and experiences in an accessible and compassionate way. While they have decades of work in this area they make brain development and psychology approachable and easy to understand have the ability to write in a way that makes you feel When I saw that authors Siegel and Bryson were releasing a new parenting book, I couldn't request The Power of Showing Up fast enough! Their past writing has been such a formative part of my own parenting. Siegel and Bryson always share their knowledge, research, and experiences in an accessible and compassionate way. While they have decades of work in this area they make brain development and psychology approachable and easy to understand have the ability to write in a way that makes you feel heard while also empowering you with new tools and ideas.  The Power of Showing Up is another wonderful addition to their collection of books that speak to you whether you are a parent, caregiver, teacher, etc. They take on attachment theory and share the powerful reminder that the most important thing we can do for our children and to be there for them. Doing this, we can teach and show them the value of comfort, support and unconditional love through both the highs and lows of being humans. They explain how we can do this through the idea of the "Four S's"...being seen, safe, soothed and secure. As a person who experienced insecure attachment as a child, I often hyper-focus on our children always knowing they are heard and loved, while also dealing with the reality that parenting is never-ending and sometimes I lose my cool. The reality is, everyone makes mistakes, and it is what we do next that is far more important. While I know this in theory, having it presented in an insightful and accessible manner is something I will always remember. I could go on and on about this book but I will just say that I highly recommend it and got so much out of it. Thank you to NetGalley and Ballantine Books for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Jessica

    Thanks to the publisher for the free review copy. I absolutely loved the whole-brain child and was excited to read this book by the same authors. My top two takeaways from this book were 1) you dont have to be a perfect parent. Just showing up and supporting your kid is what matters most. And 2) insights into how you were raised impacting how you parent. This is obvious but they actually explain it based on how the brain works which was fascinating. The thing I love about these authors is that Thanks to the publisher for the free review copy. I absolutely loved the whole-brain child and was excited to read this book by the same authors. My top two takeaways from this book were 1) you don’t have to be a perfect parent. Just showing up and supporting your kid is what matters most. And 2) insights into how you were raised impacting how you parent. This is obvious but they actually explain it based on how the brain works which was fascinating. The thing I love about these authors is that they make psychology and brain science approachable and explain it in a way for almost anyone to understand. There were some really great insights, but overall I don’t think it resonated as deeply as the whole-brain child did for me. Also some sections felt a bit repetitive, and some of the blurbs and cartoons felt unnecessary. ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 rounded up.

  11. 4 out of 5

    George

    Wondering how you help the little person in your life get ready for the big world? This book provides an insightful method you can do this by applying four Ss, 1) Safe, 2) Seen, 3) Soothe and 4) Secure. The authors do well to highlight that you don't need to be a perfect parent and that we often make mistakes. But by applying these principles you can make your child feel like they are heard, they matter and have a secure base with which to guide their way. The book does well to offer a Wondering how you help the little person in your life get ready for the big world? This book provides an insightful method you can do this by applying four Ss, 1) Safe, 2) Seen, 3) Soothe and 4) Secure. The authors do well to highlight that you don't need to be a perfect parent and that we often make mistakes. But by applying these principles you can make your child feel like they are heard, they matter and have a secure base with which to guide their way. The book does well to offer a neurological basis for their theories (which have been covered in other books), but don't think you will be bogged down in irrelevant discussion of neural structures. As a parent looking for guidance, I found it a useful, no-nonsense approach that I will try to apply to working with my little guy.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Eli Johnson

    The philosophy and science behind the four Ss - safe, seen, soothe, secure attachment - was presented in a way that was challenging without being demeaning, and hopeful without being naive. As a parent and an educator, Ive gained some valuable insights in how to approach children I care for in ways that seek to develop a secure attachment (and I honestly learned how thats not coddling) The philosophy and science behind the four S’s - safe, seen, soothe, secure attachment - was presented in a way that was challenging without being demeaning, and hopeful without being naive. As a parent and an educator, I’ve gained some valuable insights in how to approach children I care for in ways that seek to develop a secure attachment (and I honestly learned how that’s not coddling)

  13. 4 out of 5

    Becki

    I'm so glad I read this book. It was illuminating to me both as a daughter and as a mother. My children are young adults now (18 and 19), and I found myself wishing I had known this information when they were young. The concepts are still pertinent, though, and I will be looking for opportunities to continue to "show up" for my kids, even at this stage. As a teacher, though, I found my mind continually drifting to classroom applications. After reading this, I felt like I better understood my I'm so glad I read this book. It was illuminating to me both as a daughter and as a mother. My children are young adults now (18 and 19), and I found myself wishing I had known this information when they were young. The concepts are still pertinent, though, and I will be looking for opportunities to continue to "show up" for my kids, even at this stage. As a teacher, though, I found my mind continually drifting to classroom applications. After reading this, I felt like I better understood my students and the difficulties they face, and most importantly, I have new ideas for interventions. The book relies on data, and both the data and the science was shared clearly and accessibly. I will definitely keep chewing on this info. I feel like I got real, actionable info from this book and I definitely recommend it. I received this book in exchange for my honest opinion, which I am always happy to give. My thanks to the author and publisher for this opportunity! #NetGalley #ThePowerOfShowingUp

  14. 4 out of 5

    Becki

    I'm so glad I read this book. It was illuminating to me both as a daughter and as a mother. My children are young adults now (18 and 19), and I found myself wishing I had known this information when they were young. The concepts are still pertinent, though, and I will be looking for opportunities to continue to "show up" for my kids, even at this stage. As a teacher, though, I found my mind continually drifting to classroom applications. After reading this, I felt like I better understood my I'm so glad I read this book. It was illuminating to me both as a daughter and as a mother. My children are young adults now (18 and 19), and I found myself wishing I had known this information when they were young. The concepts are still pertinent, though, and I will be looking for opportunities to continue to "show up" for my kids, even at this stage. As a teacher, though, I found my mind continually drifting to classroom applications. After reading this, I felt like I better understood my students and the difficulties they face, and most importantly, I have new ideas for interventions. The book relies on data, and both the data and the science was shared clearly and accessibly. I will definitely keep chewing on this info. I feel like I got real, actionable info from this book and I definitely recommend it. I received this book in exchange for my honest opinion, which I am always happy to give. My thanks to the author and publisher for this opportunity! #NetGalley #ThePowerOfShowingUp

  15. 4 out of 5

    Keith Orach

    The power of showing up. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐. Thank you to @life_well_read for suggesting this self help book and to netgalley for the advanced read. Who is hardest on a person as a parent? The parent themselves. I know I am. We all feel we never do the right thing, never try hard enough, and just are not perfect. This book tells you that you dont need to be perfect, just be there for your child. Teach them the value of support and comfort, that even with mistakes a parentss love will never waiver and always The power of showing up. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. Thank you to @life_well_read for suggesting this self help book and to netgalley for the advanced read. Who is hardest on a person as a parent? The parent themselves. I know I am. We all feel we never do the right thing, never try hard enough, and just are not perfect. This book tells you that you don’t need to be perfect, just be there for your child. Teach them the value of support and comfort, that even with mistakes a parents’s love will never waiver and always be there for them unconditionally. This is the best gift we can give children to help them grow into adults. For a self help book, I was surprised that it didn’t come off as preachy. A definite must read for all parents who are too hard on themselves

  16. 5 out of 5

    Beth Kakuma-Depew

    This book does a good job spelling out attachment patterns. And then shows how they plays out into adulthood and can shape how adults raise their children. The message is hopeful, that no matter what attachment pattern you were raised with, you can give your children a more secure childhood. There's a bunch of cutsy drawings and some corny phrases, like "Mindsight". In my opinion those make it hard to take the books basic message seriously. I did enjoy that this book was aimed at parents of older This book does a good job spelling out attachment patterns. And then shows how they plays out into adulthood and can shape how adults raise their children. The message is hopeful, that no matter what attachment pattern you were raised with, you can give your children a more secure childhood. There's a bunch of cutsy drawings and some corny phrases, like "Mindsight". In my opinion those make it hard to take the books basic message seriously. I did enjoy that this book was aimed at parents of older children as well as infants.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Kat Ayres

    Wow. SO many parts of this book resonated with me and brought me to tears. I long suspected that I had an insecure ambivalent attachment style, due to the way I was raised and how my mother was with me. This book confirmed it and has renewed my intention to give my son a better life than what I had. Everyone should read this book, even if you dont have excessive amounts of childhood trauma.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Robert

    The scientific basis of this book is attachment theory, which claims that for proper emotional development children need to develop a "secure attachment" to at least one adult figure. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachm... The theory seems to have pretty strong scientific support. But attachment theory has been around for a long time, so what's new with this book? It seems the main goal is to explain how to actually APPLY attachment theory in practise. The explanations are extremely easy to The scientific basis of this book is attachment theory, which claims that for proper emotional development children need to develop a "secure attachment" to at least one adult figure. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachm... The theory seems to have pretty strong scientific support. But attachment theory has been around for a long time, so what's new with this book? It seems the main goal is to explain how to actually APPLY attachment theory in practise. The explanations are extremely easy to understand and they even include a lot of cartoons. In brief, there are 3 main kinds of attachment (i) Secure -good (ii) Avoidant - bad (iii) Ambivalent - really bad (iv) Disorganized - extremely bad To get the good secure attachment, parents should make sure their kids feel: (i) safe - physically and emotionally (ii) Seen - understood (iii) Soothed - comforted when they get upset (iv) Secure - combination of all the above A couple of points (1) The subtitle mentions "how their brains get wired" but there was only a single mention of the brain that I could notice. So if you expected to see extensive discussion of the brain you will be disappointed. (2) They explain very briefly how parents who were themselves not parented well could raise "securely attached" kids by "developing a coherent narrative" (basically understanding better what they missed out on as kids). (3) I think they went a bit too far in making the book easy to understand. They should have included a LITTLE more detail, such as citations to some of the research and clearer explanation of how the professional opinion on attachment theory has evolved. That would have made the book more convincing. But still, I'd recommend it.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Jennifer

    A child's happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships are determined primarily by their connection to at least one caring adult. "The Power Of Showing Up" helps adults discover how to be that one adult who is present with and for their children. In the book, authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson discuss four S's that are essential for every child. Children must feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure. The chapters share stories, scripts, simple strategies, A child's happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships are determined primarily by their connection to at least one caring adult. "The Power Of Showing Up" helps adults discover how to be that one adult who is present with and for their children. In the book, authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson discuss four S's that are essential for every child. Children must feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure. The chapters share stories, scripts, simple strategies, illustrations, and tips parents can use to give their children the four S's. It's true that parents and caregivers may mess up and not be present. This book also reveals how to repair mistakes and become an adult who shows up. I appreciated much of the insight in this book. It's easy to read, and the information is interesting for the most part. However, the beginning chapters are repetitive and frequently reference other books written by the authors, which I found annoying. I also wanted a bit more meat about how to show up rather than just information about why we should show up. Overall, "The Power of Showing Up" is a helpful book for any adult with a child in their life. It provides a good introduction to why and how we can be present for and invest in our children.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Lindsey Thompson

    My goodness, if youre like me and struggle with enough mom guilt on a regular basis, dont read this book. Had some good tips about helping your kids feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure, but it also used weird examples. For example, to help understand what seen means the author used an example of a father who didnt know why his baby was crying and was also getting Mc impatient about the baby crying and interrupting his book-reading (I think we have all been there on both accounts if we are My goodness, if you’re like me and struggle with enough mom guilt on a regular basis, don’t read this book. Had some good tips about helping your kids feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure, but it also used weird examples. For example, to help understand what “seen” means the author used an example of a father who didn’t know why his baby was crying and was also getting Mc impatient about the baby crying and interrupting his book-reading (I think we have all been there on both accounts if we are really honest). She mentioned how his attitude and lack of understanding of why the baby was crying could lead to the baby feeling like his or her parent doesn’t get what’s going on inside. She contrasted this with a dad that automatically got up and comforted the child with a bottle, knowing he was hungry. So, this book has great strategies if you a) only have one kid and b) haven’t been pushed to the point in parenting of exposing your own flaws in parenting. Her suggestions are great for a completely ideal world. But I felt like they were guilt-inducing for me, a parent that’s trying to do her best. Maybe I should have picked another book to read right now, haha......

  21. 5 out of 5

    Crystal Gao

    The first part of the book is used to making a case for the parental presence. If you are already convinced, you can skip this part and go straight to "how". The authors talk about the 4 S - 1) Safe, 2) Seen, 3) Soothe and 4) Secure. For each point, there are pretty detailed discussions of why and how. The discussions are important because the authors want to be sure that readers understand they are not advocating to spoil the children, but to accept who they are. There are examples that help The first part of the book is used to making a case for the parental presence. If you are already convinced, you can skip this part and go straight to "how". The authors talk about the 4 S - 1) Safe, 2) Seen, 3) Soothe and 4) Secure. For each point, there are pretty detailed discussions of why and how. The discussions are important because the authors want to be sure that readers understand they are not advocating to spoil the children, but to accept who they are. There are examples that help illustrate the principles too. It is a good book for any new parents. But if I will pick one book for parents in the world, I will recommend "how to raise successful people" by Esther Wojcicki. The principles are similar. Wojcicki comes more from a practioner's point of view, less from a scientist' view, which means her book is more readable. Every new parent should a copy of "how to raise successful people", or this one is acceptable too.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Chari Regina

    This book, like everything Dan Siegel writes is incredibly helpful. He takes the most complicated matters and simplifies them for the average person to deeply understand. I would recommend this book for every parent, educator and practitioner. More than ever before, our children are hungry for our presence Dan and Tina help us understand how to offer this well, from hearts that our healing from our own hurts They give practical examples that will help us all be better people in this world. Buy This book, like everything Dan Siegel writes is incredibly helpful. He takes the most complicated matters and simplifies them for the average person to deeply understand. I would recommend this book for every parent, educator and practitioner. More than ever before, our children are hungry for our presence Dan and Tina help us understand how to offer this well, from hearts that our healing from our own hurts They give practical examples that will help us all be better people in this world. Buy this book and anything with Daniel J. Siegel's name on it. The publisher provided an ARC through Netgalley. I have voluntarily decided to read and review, giving my personal opinions and thoughts

  23. 5 out of 5

    Joy

    I found this book to be very helpful and in a way eye opening. This book does not try to tell you how to be a perfect parent or parental figure, because there is obviously no such thing. Instead the book provides insights on we are shaped by the adult presences in our lives. The book helped me think about how I interact, work with and work around children (which I do a lot in my volunteer work). Also, it helped me break down and understand my own childhood from a different perspective, I I found this book to be very helpful and in a way eye opening. This book does not try to tell you how to be a perfect parent or parental figure, because there is obviously no such thing. Instead the book provides insights on we are shaped by the adult presences in our lives. The book helped me think about how I interact, work with and work around children (which I do a lot in my volunteer work). Also, it helped me break down and understand my own childhood from a different perspective, I definitely appreciated this, and would recommend this. Thank you, NetGalley, for providing access to this book!

  24. 5 out of 5

    Kayla

    Nothing earth-shattering here as far as parenting books go, but I think at least some of the value in reading parenting books is to be reminded of things you need reminders of without having to re-read the exact same books you've already read before. I also have to remind myself that most parents don't know about attachment theory and the results and implications of the "Strange Situation" experiments, so for the vast majority of parents there is a lot of new information to be found here to help Nothing earth-shattering here as far as parenting books go, but I think at least some of the value in reading parenting books is to be reminded of things you need reminders of without having to re-read the exact same books you've already read before. I also have to remind myself that most parents don't know about attachment theory and the results and implications of the "Strange Situation" experiments, so for the vast majority of parents there is a lot of new information to be found here to help make sense of the "why" behind good parenting.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Alison Hastings

    This book was very helpful. It was extremely well written with a clear format that facilitated absorption of the material. I especially appreciated the looking back to look forward approach. The book didnt command a parent to do X, Y or Z. The book encourages thoughtful reflection upon the history of the reader. Understanding ourselves permits greater effectiveness in the present with the raising of our own children. This book has positively made a difference in the way I parent and my This book was very helpful. It was extremely well written with a clear format that facilitated absorption of the material. I especially appreciated the looking back to look forward approach. The book didn’t command a parent to do X, Y or Z. The book encourages thoughtful reflection upon the history of the reader. Understanding ourselves permits greater effectiveness in the present with the raising of our own children. This book has positively made a difference in the way I parent and my understanding of relationships.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Katherine

    Unfortunately the weakest of the duo's books that I've read so far. It reads as more of a psychology textbook overview of current conclusions about attachment theory. I liked the description of the ideas but somehow in the execution, I think it only might be useful if A) you wanted to make clear the distinction between attachment parenting and attachment theory research or B) you have someone who didn't have any good parental figures that could use a reset on what healthy parenting looks like.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Emily

    Much like Dr. Siegel's other books on parenting, this one is well written, researched, and accessible. It's a good solid reminder that we have our own attachment baggage from childhood, and that it is our job to ensure that we provide a love and safe environment for our children where they do not fear us and they are not afraid to tell us if something outside the home is making them unsafe. It's a MUST READ for all parents, especially those with lingering ghosts of their own childhood.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Teague

    The best parenting book I have read. I took many notes and have added them to my parenting binder. My biggest takeaway is the positive lifelong effects of secure attachment: when children feel safe, seen, and are soothed then they form secure attachment. The books goes into each of these four S's. I listened to the book on two long Sunday runs at x 1.5 speed which helped me integrate the lessons.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Karen

    Even if you find you cannot read this book in entirety, please post the four "S's" and refer to them constantly. Safe, Seen, Soothed and Secure! Our children deserve the best start in life and then deserve to know the parents/caregivers are always on the sidelines for them. I highly recommend this book.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Hannah

    As a parent who tries really hard, makes mistakes and occasionally beats herself up for not being the perfect parent, this book was so reassuring. Turns out you dont have to be a perfect parent to raise great kids. You just have to show up. This books gives you the why and the how. A great resource. As a parent who tries really hard, makes mistakes and occasionally beats herself up for not being the perfect parent, this book was so reassuring. Turns out you don’t have to be a perfect parent to raise great kids. You just have to “show up”. This books gives you the why and the how. A great resource.

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